Stop! Unwanted Attention!

Stop! Unwanted Attention

Unwanted attention from grandparents.

One day, this little girl was playing alone with her father when her grandparents showed up. The grandmother approached the little girl and started ruffling her hair and tickling her continuously. The little girl tried to move away, but the grandmother persisted, thinking it was funny, and started to chase the girl. The little girl continued to move away. The grandmother continued and eventually made the little girl cry, which caused the grandmother to get very angry that the little girl was crying instead of enjoying her unwanted attention.

"She is so sensitive; we were just playing."

I am all for respecting your elders, but the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.

What are we teaching our children? If her parents had told her to ignore her grandmother's unwanted attention, they would be telling her that her feelings don't matter.

Silencing her with "be nice" and "just ignore them" would be sending her the same message that women have been getting for years:

Oh, is someone bothering you? Overstepping boundaries? Treating you disrespectfully?..... Just ignore it...Let it go...That's just the way things are.....They are just playing.

Teaching our children to ignore unwanted attention is not okay!

Overlooking unwanted attention is a problem. We want our children to be respectful, nice, quiet, behave, not cause a fuss, and look the other way. When we do this, we are teaching them that their boundaries don't matter, that personal space doesn't exist, that their voices don't count, and that they have to just deal with it.

This little girl shouldn't have to duck and dodge to keep from her grandparents touching her in a way that makes her uncomfortable. We must teach our children to stand up for themselves when someone goes too far. We need to set the stage for them not to overlook when someone makes them uncomfortable. They should feel confident calling out inappropriate behavior or telling someone what's happening. Teach them to speak up against things that don't feel right and things they don't want.

Make sure your children know they can come to you with anything upsetting, questionable, or that makes them feel uncomfortable. Provide a safe space for them to talk when they have fears, issues, or concerns.

Being kind is one thing. Letting people infringe on your personal space or overlooking things that make you uncomfortable is another. No one should have to tolerate anyone who is not respectful of physical space, nor should they have to accept anyone acting verbally or emotionally inappropriate or aggressive.

The little girl in this story did use her voice, and she ended up calling her mother and telling her to tell the grandmother to stop what she was doing.

Her voice does matter, and her boundaries matter.

Yes, it can be hard and awkward, but we have to speak up for ourselves and our children.

Empower yourself and Empower your children! Speak up and Speak out!

Stay Fearless My Friends! You are all Wonder Women (or Superman whichever)